Breaking up

There are many kinds of break ups. The end of a marriage, the end of a friendship, parents and children ceasing to talk, couples going their separate ways. What it is really is the end of a relationship.


No one sees them coming, or they are spotted a mile away. What is common is that its an ending of the way things are.


Many see endings as a bad thing. End means over, done, finished, stopped, a conclusion.
Those words can be percieved as negative.  It begins to  boil down to perception of the words tied up with a lot of emotion. Anger, loss, hurt, sadness, relief, a sense of liberation. 


Understanding when breaking up can add a sense of continuity to yourself as your path takes a different direction from the other persons.


Why is this relationship ending?  It could be as simple as one person no longer likes the other person, perhaps fallen out of love. One or both parties could have simply changed, and to remain together is more destructive to one another than to be apart.
It could be a situation where its unhealthy, and again to remain would be more destructive than staying.
In any case ending a relationship is usually the healthy move when one is honest with oneself and realizes and understands the why things are over. The problem can often lie in how the break up is handled. Too gentle and the other party may never see things as over and hurting emotionally is unable to move on with their lives. To rough, and the other party is emotionally destroyed and the damage could take years of therapy to overcome and to once again move on with their lives.


If you're not the one to end it, and there is no answer from the other party, sometimes, stepping back and taking a very hard look, one can find the answer in front of them. That things had changed, or the person grew in a different direction or simply it was just not healthy for either parties to be together. 


Of course I wrap it all up nice and neat here, when in reality break ups can be messy and painful. Full of self doubt, anger, tears and a horrible sense of loss. However if one can try and remember the foundation of breaking up, whats underneath all the emotion. The process of getting on with life, can be perhaps a little less rocky.